Lost Myself
by JustYourAveragePsychopath
Summary: When Raven gets abducted by a rich man in want of slaves, she becomes the victim of kidnap. What will the Titans do to get her back? What happens to her at this new place? Will she survive? Or will she have a tragic end?
1. Waiting

**A/N: Hi! This is my first fanfiction, well published at least. Thanks for reading my story! I know this isn't long, I wrote it on my iPod and didn't have a very good sense on how long it was, but I tried.**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Teen Titans. :(**

* * *

_It's been about five months since Trigons death and I've been slowly adjusting to life with freedom. Well, partial freedom. I always thought I would be able to show emotion after this, but no. I guess I should've figured that though. But I've been happier at least. Able to relax more. I've actually been showing my true colors, at least as much as I can without showing too much emotion._

* * *

"Friend Raven, the night of Friday has come!" Starfire said in her usual happy manner.

"Tonight is the singing of the karaoke! Will you be joining us?" I looked at her curiously. Karaoke? Oh right. They made plans.

"Maybe. But I wont sing." I looked down at my book and pretended to read hoping she'd be satisfied with my answer, but knowing she's not.

She looked at me with those big green eyes of hers with tears welling up. "But Raven, I wish to hear your singing!" Knew it. I looked at her and sighed. "Sorry, but I just can't sing. I'm very bad at it."

I said, lying through my teeth. The truth is, I love singing, and am pretty good at it, or at least I'd like to think. But I get too into it and end up shattering something because of my emotions. "Please friend Raven, you will be glorious!" she pleaded. "Mm...I'll think about it." I said. Maybe she'll leave me alone now. "Wonderful!" She said and flew off to go get ready. I guess I'll get ready too.

I went up the stairs and into my room. I walked over to my closet and opened the door and started looking through my clothes. Ever since I defeated Trigon, I started wearing normal clothes and makeup more often. It's at least one way to express myself. I settled on a shirt with my favorite bands name on it and a pair of ripped jeans. And for a little flair, a short, waist level hoodie. I looked at my reflection in the mirror and approved my outfit. I eyed my eyeliner for a minute before deciding to put some on with mascara. Good. I guess I'll do something with my hair too. I grew it out over these five months, so it's a little past my shoulder blades. I pulled it back into a ponytail but left a piece in the front. I pulled on my shoes and headed out of my room.

I ran into Starfire and her eyes widened at my appearance. "Raven! You look glorious!" she grabbed me and pulled me into one of her alien strength hugs. I feel like my innards are about explode. "Star...fire...can't...b-breathe!" I said through gasps. She released me and apologize quickly. I straightened myself up and cleared my throat. She looked down at herself doubtfully and sighed. "I don't think my appearance is good enough..." I looked at what she was wearing, and she was wearing a blue ruffled skirt with black tights, with ankle boots and a long sleeved purple croptop. I gave her my most sincere smile and complimented her. "You look great, Star." She looked up at me brightly and smiled a wide smile. "You believe so? Oh, thank you!" she hugged me softly. Well, as soft as she can. I hugged her back and smiled a little smile. "You're welcome. Hey, where are the boys?" I asked realizing it was too quiet here. Almost peaceful.

She let go and dusted off her skirt. "The boys said they shall meet us there soon, they first had to run the errand." She said. "Oh, okay." I nodded. "I guess we should go then." I said. "Indeed!" She flew to the door and opened it and flew out. "Oh, wait Star!" I yelled after her. She turned around and looked at me curiously. "Yes, friend Raven?" She asked curiously. "Let's take the car. I'll drive." I said and she smiled brightly. "Yes, of course!" We both got in the car and made our way to the karaoke bar.

As soon I got out I felt the blood drain from my face. This place was swarming like a irritated beehive! I sighed and shook me head. Oh god help me.

Starfire started joyfully skipping towards the building with me in tow. This is gonna be a long night. As we approached the building, I suddenly bumped into something and looked up to see it was Star looking down at me. "Oh and Raven, please wear this if you do decide to sing. Singing always gets me emotional and I expect it is the same for you. If you wear this bracelet while singing it will enable you to show emotion. But it only works once." She handed me a ruby red and sapphire blue gem bracelet. I looked up at her in surprise. How did she...? Whatever. "Th-thanks.." she smiled and flew into the building and I followed.

We soon found the guys and sat down. After about an hour and a half, one of us finally decided to sing. Not surprising that it was Beast Boy. And god, he was AWFUL. I choked on my soda from laughing so hard, and that's saying something, considering I never laugh. Next was Star, Cyborg, then Robin.

After he finished he came back to the table and sat next to star and she hugged him. "You were spectacular, Robin!" She said gleefully. He blushed and attempted to speak. "I-I wasn't really all that great..." he murmured. "Bro, you sucked!" Beast boy said while laughing. "I'm gonna have to agree with BB here, Rob." Cyborg said grinning "You suck!" Robin hung his head down in shame as they all laughed. I merely smiled. Starfire gasped and turned to me. "Raven! You agreed to sing, correct?" she said with a hopeful look in her eyes. "W-Well I said maybe! Not yes!" I stammered. "Rae! You should totally go up there and sing! You can't be as bad as Robin!" Beast Boy said while wearing a cocky grin on his face. "You're one to talk." I said and smirked. He gripped his chest. "Ow! Rae, that hurt my heart!" he laughed and I chuckled. "Raven, if I did it, you can." Robin said hoping to take the embarrassment off himself. Well, I have the bracelet so I guess it won't be that bad...alright. I sighed and stood up. "Fine." I put the bracelet on and walked on stage. Oh god. I've never sung in front of anyone. What if the bracelet doesn't work?

No, it will. Even if it doesn't I can't turn back now. I told the band what song I chose and then asked the guitar player if I could play myself and he agreed. No one even knows I play guitar either. Awesome. Well, this may be fun, so I'm gonna do it. I set the mic stand in front of me and cleared my throat. "Um..." I started introducing my self like everyone else did. "My name is Raven, and I'll be singing the Goddamn...by Falling in Reverse, but I'm changing the lyrics a little..." I could see the confusion on my teammates faces because I chose such a energetic song for me to choose. This is gonna be fun.

"One Two Three Four!" I began enthusiastically. I started playing and singing at the same time. "My words cut just like razor blades  
I'm just like a hand grenade  
you pulled the pin now you too late  
excuse me while I detonate  
you live the life of luxury  
deep down inside your misery  
subsides and thrives for company  
now morally your crumbling

Goddamn need some help  
I can't help myself  
cause the guy I like's in love with someone else.  
Goddamn it's too bad  
really wished it would last  
always wanting what  
I'll never have so goddamn" I began acting a way I didn't know I even could. This is so much fun! I was dancing and singing in front of a bunch of people with a real band! Whoa! This is amazing! I finished the song a few minutes later, sweating and out of breath, even smiling.  
I even got a standing ovation! Now this, a girl could get used to.

I handed the guitar back to the guy and thanked him then ran back to the table and sat down. No one said a word at first, they all stared at me in shock. The first one to speak was Star. She hugged me tightly and squealed loudly. "Friend Raven! That was most glorious! You were amazing! I never knew you could play that instrument! Marvelous!" she said excitedly. "Holy crap Raven! That was amAZING!" Cyborg patted me on the back and smiled at me. "How come you never sing at the tower?" Robin asked. "You're amazing!" he stated. I felt myself hint at a smile. "I just don't." I replied. Soon they all went up to go god knows where and left me and Beast Boy alone at the table.

"Hey, uh, Rae, I never got to congratulate you earlier. They all talk way too much!" He laughed nervously and scratched behind his head. His face turned red and he looked away shyly, but still smiling. "Raven...you were amazing. I've never heard anyone sing like that before!" he looked back at me now. "And the way you played that guitar! Wow! Incredible!" My cheeks flushed and I looked away and started rubbing my arm. "Oh, um thank you.." I replied quietly. As soon as I said that the others came back. "Well, well, well, looks like you guys just had a moment!" Cyborg teased. I swear if weren't made of metal I would punch him so hard. "Eh?! No way! I was just telling her how great she was up there!" Beast Boy exclaimed. "Mmhmmmm, suuuure!" Cyborg smirked and puts his arm around my shoulder. "Did he try to make a move on you, Rae?" He asked me with a devilish smirk on his face. "No. Get off of me or I will banish you to another dimension." I replied with a monotone voice while drinking my soda. He backed off and I stood up. What time is it? I looked at the clock and it read 11:45pm. How did it get so late already? "Hey, it's late so I'm going to head home. I drove the car here so you guys can take it, I'll walk." I grabbed my bag and took one last sip of my soda. Beast Boy shot up and spoke, "I'll walk with you, Rae! I'm getting kinda tired myself!" he grinned at me and grabbed his stuff. "Well if you really want to, just don't be expecting some life changing conversation." I said boredly. I put my money on the table, said my farewells and left with Beast Boy at my side.

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**A/N: Hi again! I know that she's a little OOC, but that's kind of the point since she's changed. If you don't know the song, look it up! Please! PM me if you have questions, and please give advice! I'm really bad at ._. Thanks! PS the title for this chapter got screwed up so ya...**


	2. Abduct

**A/N: Hi! It's me, _LoveMeSomeCorruptBoys, _but please, call me LoveMeCorrupt. This chapter is really where stuff goes down. The first one was kind of boring, and was really more for fun. I'd like to thank everyone that followed, favorited, read, and reviewed! I really appreciate it, and it's giving me the will to keep writing! :) thanks!**

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans. :(

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As we were walking home I felt like I was being watched the whole. It might be because of Beast Boy's constant staring and trying to get my attention, but I don't think that's what it is? "Rae, are you alright?" Beast Boy said, noticing I was spaced out. "Huh?" I said, "Oh, yeah, I'm fine." He looked at me with doubt on his face but just shrugged it off.

"Anyways, what do you call a pile of aluminum after it's been destroyed?" He asked. "Alumi-none!" He burst out with laughter and went on and on about how "good" his joke was. I rolled my eyes and smirked. He gasped and put his hands over his mouth. "Did….I just get a smile out of you?" He asked in a teasing tone. "I, Beast Boy, the idiotic fool who cannot make a joke for the life of him, just made RAVEN smile! With one of MY jokes!"  
"Shut up!" I laughed and elbowed him in his arm. He gasped even louder and gripped his chest. "Oh my GOD! I even got a LAUGH out of you!" He laughed and smiled at me.  
"So you do think I'm funny, huh?" He smirked. "No." I said sternly, not daring to turn my head to look at him.  
"Yes you DOOOO!" He said, "You totally do!" He kept on laughing, and teasing. He put his arm around my shoulders and poked my arm. I was completely caught off guard by this and I felt my body heat up to a point I didn't know possible. "C'mon Rae, just admit it already!" Alright Raven, get ahold of yourself, it's just Beast Boy. "Admit it..!" He teased.  
"No-" I began but was cut-off by a loud bang.  
We both jumped and turned around to see what it was. So, something is following us. "Who's there?" I called out and waited a minute. Nothing. "Whoever's there better show-" I got cut-off by someone grabbing me and pulling me from behind and cloth over my mouth and nose. I heard Beast Boy scream my name and felt a bag go over my head. After that, nothing but black.

* * *

My eyes fluttered open but they still feel so incredibly heavy it was a struggle to keep them open.  
I weakly turned my head to take in my surroundings. Apparently I'm in an empty white room. I try to sit up but my body is too weak and I collapse back down.  
I feel a pair of arms grab me by my under arms and pull me up. I can't stand at all, so I stay there in that persons arms limply.  
Another pair of arms help drag me into another room. It had a large, black pool, with beige and brownish shades of tile.

They began to strip my clothes off and when they were done they put a long, white gown. It almost looks like a nightgown.  
They slipped me in the water, and the two people that were holding me got in and help me up by my back.  
Another person, dressed in black robe walks up to me in the water.  
Where exactly am I? What is going on? Who are these people?  
"Who….are you..?" I asked weakly, barely conscious enough to speak.

As soon as I finished speaking, the person in black, quickly grabbed me and pushed me under the water. I began struggling as much as I could, trying to push them off. More hands began to hold me under. I began gasping for breath and reaching for air.  
Am I going to die here? No, I won't! I refuse!  
Using all my strength, I pushed myself up out of the water just enough for my face to reach air. I gasped for breath and began to say my mantra.  
"A-azar-rath, Met-!" I got cut off and pushed back under water with such a great strength I felt like I was going to explode from being pushed to the bottom of the pool. I kept thrashing around in the water, trying to get out.  
Just when I was about to pass out, they pulled me back up and dragged me out of the water.  
I feel...weird...and not like I almost died. I feel...different.  
I quickly shook that thought out of my head, I need to focus on getting out of here.

They scooped me up, and we began to go into another room. I checked my surroundings, and found myself in a big, clean, completely white room.  
It had incredibly fancy furniture. A large, white bed that looked like it was made for a princess, a white vanity dresser that also looked like it belonged to some kind of royalty. Everything in here looks as if it were made for a queen. Where am I? Why did they take me in here?  
They take the soaking wet nightgown off of me, and slip me into another nightgown, but this time it was shorter, and silk.  
I still can't move my body as a result of the chemicals they used to put me to sleep, and attempting to break free, so I was forced to just lay there.  
I need to get my strength back in order to escape.  
I laid there for a while, fighting sleep, before eventually giving up and drifting off to sleep.

* * *

When I woke up there was a woman standing over me. She was rather beautiful. She had long, sandy blonde hair that framed her face perfectly.  
She had a beautiful hourglass figure, but still, she looked very young. Maybe a few years older than me.  
I started to sit up, and she quickly put her hands behind my back and helped me up. I looked at her for a minutes, then pushed her fiercely away from me and gave her my scariest and hardest glare. She whimpered slightly.  
I got up slowly, making sure I had some strength back. After a minute of testing my body, I decided I'm not quite recovered, but good enough.  
I looked up and her, giving her my scariest scowl, and grabbed her by her neck quickly, pinned her against the wall with my forearm.  
I slammed my hand on the wall next to her face to show her I'm not playing around.  
"Where am I, and who are you people?" I growled. I glared fiercely at her and saw the terror written on her face. Good. "Do you hear me!" I shouted. She cowered and turned her face away and a tear began to roll down her cheek. My eyes widen at this. Maybe she's just a henchman.  
As I was about to release her, a pair of hands gently grabbed my waist and pulled me away from the terrified woman.

I turned around, ready to fight whoever it was that grabbed me, but they just grabbed my hands gently and smiled at me. It was a beautiful woman, even more than the other. She had beautiful brown hair that fell down her back in an elegant braid. She was wearing a light blue, white, and black maids' uniform. Her eyes were a soft hazel and gleamed with kindness. Her skin pale, and glowing.

"Darling, I understand you are scared, but please. Do not take it out on us. We are merely the slaves and do as ordered." She smiled sweetly at me and led me over to the bed. Slaves? Who is this woman? Where did she even come from? Where the hell am I?  
She motioned for me to sit next to her and I did so. She stroked the back of my hair once or twice and then held both my hands in her lap.  
"I'm sure you have many questions, darling. But for now it is important for you to find out" she began sweetly with a gentle face on, but it turned sad, and she wouldn't even look me in the eyes. "what they have done to you." She ended her sentence with a melancholy tone.  
W-what they have done to me..? What does she mean? Wh-what did they do to me?! I shot up in alarm and ripped my hands out of her grasp."What in God's name do you mean?! What did they do to me?!" She grabbed my hands gently and pulled me back into a sitting position.  
"Child, you musn't get worked up. You must stay calm." She says while gently rubbing the palm of my hand with her thumb. What the hell is she talking about? It doesn't matter.  
She's right, at least. I need to stay calm or my powers will get out of control. I took a few deeps breaths and continued. "Okay, you're right. Now, what is it that they did to me?" I asked nervously, hoping it wasn't too bad.

She grabbed a hand mirror off of the nightstand and handed it to me. What? Why is she handing me this? I took it and held it up to my face.  
My eyes widened at the sight. I starting shaking, and dropped the hand mirror.  
No! This can't be happening. This...can't be happening...no...

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**A/N: I'm so sorry these are so short, I'm trying to make them longer, but this seemed like a good place to stop. If I made a mistake please tell me! I do not bite! Well, that's not entirely true, I do bite quite a bit, not even joking but whatever! Please tell me anyways! I appreciate every single view, review, follow and favorite I get! Thanks so much! 3 you guys! :D PS: Thanks for telling me that about the speaking thing, drunalove! I appreciate that! **


	3. The Young Lord

**A/N: Hey guys! Sorry I'm late with this, my computer had issues...ugh and I'm a semester behind in school. Heh... Yeah... Yay homeschooling... Anyways, I'm back, and writing. Someone asked when you find out who Raven was captured by, it's this chapter! I hope you enjoy this! TIPS ARE ENCOURAGED AND WELCOMED! Thanks guys! PS: If you guys watch Vampire Diaries read my God-Sisters fanfic! Her user is _TheOriginalStoryWriter_. She's really good. If you do check it out, review it and tell her I sent ya! Thanks!**

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I'm... Not me…. this is… I'm… I'm human.

"No..." I murmur softly. I feel my hair. It's silky, jet black and almost wavy. My eyes were a bright green. I had always thought I would have brown eyes... As for my skin, it was still pale. Not as pale, and it was tan...not grey.  
"No, this can't be!" I shout.  
I turned around fiercely and glared at the woman with a burning hate.  
What did she do to me? HOW did she do this to me?  
"What the hell did you do to me!" I yelled at her. I lunged my self at her and swung my fist at her face.  
She dodged me swiftly and grabbed my fist in midair, and pulled me in front of her. She pulled me forcefully but was still very gentle at the same time.  
"Raven," She began, "You need to calm down. I had no part in this. Even if I did, there is nothing you can do about it now."  
Her expression turned melancholy and disappointed.  
She looked down at her feet for a second before looking up at me with an incredibly serious expression.  
"You're going to be like this for the rest of your life."

My eyes grew in shock. No, there has to be a way to reverse this, right?  
"No! I can get back to normal and-and, I'll get out of here and I can be a titan again!" I said with false hope.I knew deep down that I probably couldn't. But I have got to try. There has to be a way. There has to.

"Raven, that's impossible! Even the strongest of us have not been able to escape! There's positively no way." She said trying to plant a seed of reason in my head.

"I'll find a way!" I say in protest.  
She sighed, realizing just how stubborn I am about this.  
"You will see soon enough."

* * *

After a few hours of being locked in a room by myself, a pair of men wearing black and white masks, red silk capes, and prince-like suits came in.  
"Mistress Raven Rachel Roth, we are the servants of Young Lord Jules. Young Lord Jules has requested your presence. Please dress in uniform for Young Lord Jules." They both said in unison. It was spooky how they talked, completely monotone, and at the same time. They kept using his name a lot, too.  
I looked them over for a minute before speaking.  
"I don't have a uniform." I stared them dead in the eye, but neither one of them looked at me. They only looked straight in front of them.  
I would have thought they were robots if I didn't know any better.  
"Young Lord Jules has provided a uniform for you." They both said.  
The one on the left held out a bag with what I assume was the uniform. I grabbed it from them and waited for them to leave. They didn't.  
"Leave." I ordered.  
"Apologies Mistress Raven Rachel Roth. Young Lord Jules has ordered us to stay here until you are ready to leave the quarters." Me eye twitched at that.  
"Get out or I make you." I growled.

"Apologies Mistress Raven Rachel Roth. Young Lord Frederick has ordered us to stay here until you are ready to leave the quarters." They repeated.  
This "Apologies Mistress Raven Rachel Roth. Young Lord Jules has ordered us to stay here until you are ready to leave the quarters."  
This went on for about five minutes before I realized they weren't going to leave. I just gave up and sighed.

"Fine. Close your eyes then or turn around, I don't care just don't watch." I said monotonously.

"Yes, Mistress Raven Rachel Roth." They both shut their eyes and turned around at the same time.  
I opened the bag and pulled out the uniform. It looked similar to the other women's dresses I saw earlier.  
It was dark teal, and long.  
It went up to mid-neck and it had long sleeves with lace encasing my hands. There were no shoes so I just stayed barefoot.  
I stripped myself of the white gown and put on this new uniform.  
I won't have to wear it for long though.

* * *

After I finished, they led my down the hall. They had me in cuffs, which is probably a good think, because I might have choked one of them if they said 'Young Lord Jules' one more time.  
The hallway was long and filled with paintings, fancy statues, vases, all that kind of stuff.  
When we reached the end of the hall, there were two huge doors with fancy carvings on them. They knocked on the door and spoke.  
"Young Lord Jules, Mistress Raven Rachel Roth has arrived."  
The doors opened slowly. It was really hard to see because it was so dark. I could make out a big chair and a person sitting on it but that was about it.  
As I got closer to the figure I could see more clearly.

It was a young boy, maybe 14 or 15, with dark blonde hair, pale skin, and bright blue eyes.  
He was wearing a pure white suit with a light blue handkerchief in his breast pocket.  
He walked up to me, and started circling around me, inspecting me and criticizing. He stopped in front of me and stared for a minute. He then looked at those guys that took me here and shooed them off. They left.  
"So you must be Raven." He smiled. He took my hand and kissed it. I quickly pulled my hand away and struggled not to kick this kid where the sun don't shine.  
"What do you want with me?" I barked. My face was burning with rage, my fists clenched with anger.

"Oh dear, this one's a bit feisty.." He said with distaste. He pretended to inspect his fingernails, then smirked at me a devilish smile. It made me want to vomit.  
"Well, Raven- Is it alright if I call you that? Yes? Good!" He laughed as I simmered with rage.  
"Anyways, Raven, I just want you. You're a Titan, a super hero! Er, _former _Titan, that is." He smirked. It still hasn't quite registered in my mind that I'm not _me_ anymore...  
"Plus, I never had a DEMON for a slave before! This shall be quite-" he was interrupted by two guards barging in with a woman with long, dirty blonde hair, tan skin, and purple eyes. She was crying and begging not to go in there. What exactly happens to them if they misbehave..?

"Young Lord Jules! Slave Marie has misbehaved!" They dropped her on the floor, and she landed with a thud and a sickening crack of her bones. She shrieked loudly. It sounded like so awful...it could give one horrid nightmares...  
"Oh? And what did my precious little doll do?" He held the girls chin softly and lifted her head to look him in the eye. She had a look of grave terror on her face while he enjoyed every second of this. He's completely sadistic.  
He let go of her chin and stood up straight.  
"What does it even matter!" He exclaimed. He looked at me with a dark smirk. "We'll just show Raven here what happens when they misbehave."  
He raised his fist and quickly, but extremely hard, struck the girl in the face.  
"NO!" I screamed. How could he do this to her? What could she have possibly done to deserve this! She looked at me with a scared and surprised look and mouthed 'no' to me.  
My eyes widened in surprise. He must truly be a monster if this girl won't let herself be saved from him out of fear for what he'll do to me.  
He kept hitting, and hitting, and hitting, and hitting... Over and over and over... I watching in horror with my hands over my mouth, attempting not to cry, scream, or lash out.

He finally stopped, and dismissed her. As she was being dragged out she looked at me...her face bloody and bruised. But still smiled at me.  
I smiled sadly back at her.  
I watched her as she was dragged out of sight. Once I couldn't see anymore, I whipped around.  
"Why the hell did you do that?! You don't even know what she did! How COULD you do that?!" I yelled.  
He smirked. He started laughing devilishly.  
He stopped suddenly, and looked at me with stone cold eyes.  
"Why, Raven, dear. That's what happens when you misbehave."

* * *

I sat on the snow white bed they have given me. I need to start thinking how to get my powers back. To become _me_ again.  
I wonder...will the Titans find me...? Will they even look for me..? I shook that thought out of my head. Of course they will. They're my family.  
I got up and started pacing around the room. I miss them. I miss all of them. Cyborg, Starfire, Robin...Beast Boy... I have this feeling that he's the one I miss the most. I flopped face-down on the bed. I miss all their stupid antics, corny jokes, way too intense training sessions...heck, I even miss talking with Starfire with what she called "The girl talk'. Those memories make me smile. Hard to believe it was just yesterday.

* * *

**A/N: Hi! Thank you all so much for reading! I really appreciate it! Anyways, again, I'm so sorry I'm so freaking late on this. Computer crashed, and then christmas recital, christmas, and then new years. Oh boy. Questions? Inbox me! Bye guys! Happy new years!**


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